2 questions to ask yourself before you decide to serve a mission - a testimony guide for future LDS missionaries

Preparing to serve a full-time mission? (Or just thinking about it?)

Here are 2 questions to ask yourself before you go-

#1- Is the Book of Mormon the word of God? 
#2- Was Joseph Smith called by God to be a Prophet? 

Now, wait just a minute- if you have just quickly read and automatically answered the two questions, then please go back and re-read each question, then carefully consider your answer, based on your personal testimony. 

IS the Book of Mormon the word of God? 
WAS Joseph Smith called by God to be a Prophet? 

If you know it in your heart because the Spirit has confirmed it to you, then you have a testimony of those things. If you aren't really sure about the answer to either one of those questions, don't panic! Today I will explain how to get those confirming answers and why it is so important. It's important for every person, but especially important for your right now if you are considering serving a full-time mission.

First, lets review what testimony is. We hear the word "testimony" often at Church, but there still seems to be somewhat of a confusion about what a testimony is. Last week, I asked my youth Sunday School class to explain the difference between testimony and bearing testimony. They struggled with this question. And based on some of the wacky things I've heard people say in testimony meetings over the past 25 years that I've been a member of the Church, I think it's safe to say that not everyone understands what a testimony is and/or what bearing testimony means. 

Here is a basic refresher on the difference between testimony and bearing testimony: 

WHAT IS A TESTIMONY? 

A testimony is knowledge of gospel principles based on the witness of the Spirit, who testifies of truth. "A testimony is a spiritual witness, given by the Holy Ghost, of the truthfulness of the gospel...The foundation of a testimony is the knowledge that Heavenly Father lives and loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that His gospel has been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Savior’s true Church" (Come Follow Me, "What Does it Mean to Bear Testimony?")

"For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the term testimony is a warm and familiar word in our religious expressions. It is tender and sweet. It has always a certain sacredness about it. When we talk about testimony, we refer to feelings of our heart and mind rather than an accumulation of logical, sterile facts. It is a gift of the Spirit, a witness from the Holy Ghost that certain concepts are true. A testimony is the sure knowledge or assurance from the Holy Ghost of the truth and divinity of the Lord’s work in these latter days. A testimony is the “abiding, living, [and] moving conviction of the truths revealed in the gospel of Jesus Christ” (Dieter F Uchtdorf, "The Power of Personal Testimony")

WHAT IS BEARING TESTIMONY? 

Bearing your testimony generally means telling others about your testimony (such as in Fast & Testimony meetings), but also in other settings.

"When we bear testimony, we declare to others what we know to be true by the power of the Spirit" (Come Follow Me, "What Does it Mean to Bear Testimony?")

"When we bear testimony, we declare the absolute truth of the gospel message. In a time when many perceive truth as relative, a declaration of absolute truth is not very popular, nor does it seem politically correct or opportune...Our firm conviction of gospel truth is an anchor in our lives; it is steady and reliable as the North Star. A testimony is very personal and may be a little different for each of us, because everyone is a unique person. However, a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ will always include these clear and simple truths:

• God lives. He is our loving Father in Heaven, and we are His children.
• Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and the Savior of the world.
• Joseph Smith is the prophet of God through whom the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the latter days.
• The Book of Mormon is the word of God.
• (The living Prophet), his counselors, and the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are the prophets, seers, and revelators in our day" (Dieter F Uchtdorf, "The Power of Personal Testimony")

MY TESTIMONY STORY:

When I first gained a testimony (as an investigator at age 18), I knew in my heart for the first time that God our Heavenly Father lives and loves me as his daughter. As a former atheist, this was new information and a major shift in thinking for me. It changed my life. I also came to understand the mission and importance of Jesus Christ, living Prophets, and the Book of Mormon. I was so excited to serve a mission and tell everyone about the true principles I had learned.

(Did you notice that I left any mention of Joseph Smith off of my list of things that I had gained a testimony about? It wasn't that I doubted that Joseph Smith was a Prophet. I was just more focused on the other aspects of the gospel that I had learned and was very excited about. It seems weird now, but I didn't think too much about Joseph Smith and the First Vision, or how the Book of Mormon came to us. It just wasn't that important to me at the time)

Two years after I was baptized, I got my mission call. When I got to the MTC, we started teaching the missionary lessons right away. We were put into pairs and would take turns teaching different parts and bearing testimony of what we had taught. I was so excited about the lessons about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ...I was VERY enthusiastic and bore testimony of those truths like there was no tomorrow. Then we got to the lesson about Joseph Smith's First Vision. I wasn't exactly dreading that lesson, but I wasn't excited about it like I was about the previous lessons. I realized that maybe this was because I hadn't really received a testimony about Joseph Smith being called as a Prophet. It's not that I didn't believe it, but remember, believing (or hoping that something is true) isn't the same as having a testimony (see definition of testimony in blue above). 

So, what did I do? I went ahead and taught that lesson about Joseph Smith's First Vision (to the Elder I've been paired up with for the assignment). As I explained the events of the First Vision that day, I suddenly felt a strong conviction in my heart that the things I was saying were true. I had a warm feeling that felt like it was welling up inside me. It was the Holy Ghost, testifying of truth to me. I could then truly testify that I knew that Joseph Smith was called by God to be a Prophet.

YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE A SEPARATE WITNESS OF TESTIMONY FOR EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF THE GOSPEL TO GO ON A MISSION

Some people mistakenly believe that they need to have a testimony of every individual aspect of the gospel in order to have a testimony and that they must have an individual confirmation of every single thing in order to serve a mission. During my mission, I learned that if a person has a testimony of ONE of the clear and basic truths of the Restored Gospel (as listed by Dieter F. Uchtdorf above: God is our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ is the Savior and the Son of God, God restored the Church through the Prophet Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon is the word of God, & we have living Prophets & Apostles today), the others can easily fall into place. 

Do you need to pray to know that Seminary or Personal Progress are inspired programs? You absolutely could if you wanted to (or felt that you needed to), but if you know that we have living prophets and apostles leading the Church, you will already know that they are inspired programs. Do you need to pray to know that each individual member of the Quorum of the 70 has been called of God? You could, but if you already know that they have been called by the proper priesthood authority under the direction of the General Authorities, then you don't necessarily need to pray about each individual sustaining. Which is why they announce all of the newly called General Authorities and General Officers in General Conference without giving time in between each one for us to pray about each one for an individual confirmation before we raise our arm to sustain. Some things are just implied, because of the true principles related to them. You have a right to pray for confirmation from God if you want to or need to, but you may find that it is not always necessary.

For example, if you have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ, you will have a testimony of his roles as Creator, Savior, the Son of God, and our Advocate with the Father. You won't necessarily need to pray about and receive a witness of each separate aspect of his mission. They all go together. Of course, that doesn't mean that you will have a perfect knowledge of everything or totally understand how the Atonement works or how a person gets Resurrected. That's ok. Testimony doesn't mean you know everything, testimony means that you have had a witness in your heart through the Holy Ghost that something is true.

IF YOU HAVE A TESTIMONY OF ONE OF THE BASIC TRUTHS, YOU CAN KNOW THAT THE REST ARE TRUE

Prior to entering the MTC, I had a testimony of God the Father and Jesus Christ. I also had a testimony of the Book of Mormon. If I had really thought about it, I might have asked myself - "How did the Book of Mormon come to be?" Of course, I knew that the Book of Mormon was the record of ancient Prophets in the Americas, who recorded the dealings of their people, including the visit of the Jesus Christ after his Resurrection. But how did we get it? It was hidden long ago by Moroni, who was instructed to bury it so that it could be brought forth at a future time. Nobody in the modern world knew anything about this ancient record until some time after Joseph Smith was visited by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ (called the "First Vision")...in fact, the ancient record wasn't even mentioned to Joseph until several years after the First Vision, when the very same Moroni visited Joseph Smith and told him about the plates. It was then still a few more years until Joseph Smith was able to obtain the plates to start the translation. After the amazing work of translation, the ancient record was eventually printed and published. The whole thing is really amazing - you should read more about it! But my point is, the Book of Mormon is in my possession right now. I have it. I read it. I read it when I was 18, too. No matter what anyone else says, I know I have a personal testimony that the Book of Mormon is true. We got the Book of Mormon through a string of events that began with Joseph Smith's prayer and the First Vision. Therefore, I know that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet. Can I still pray about it to get a confirmation? Of course! My point is, sometimes all it takes is connecting the dots to realize that we do have a testimony of all of these things if we already have a testimony of one of them.

Another example - If you have a testimony that Russell M. Nelson is a living Prophet, then (if you think it out), you can also have a testimony that Joseph Smith was a Prophet. How? Because Russell M. Nelson is the most recent in an unbroken chain of priesthood authority back to the first Prophet in our dispensation (the "latter-days"), who was Joseph Smith. So if Russell M. Nelson was a Prophet, then Joseph Smith was a Prophet. And if Joseph Smith was a Prophet, then the Book of Mormon is the word of God. It all connects together. 

The same applies to the other basic gospel truths as well. If you know that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, then you can know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real (because he spoke with them and testified of them). Then you can also know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church of Jesus Christ on the earth today, because it was restored by Joseph Smith and has been directed by living Prophets and Apostles since that day. 

DO I NEED TO HAVE A TESTIMONY IN ORDER TO SERVE A MISSION? 

IF SO, WHAT EXACTLY DO I NEED TO HAVE A TESTIMONY OF?

Some potential missionaries get caught up in worrying that they can't serve a mission unless they have received a crystal-clear confirmation of the Spirit of every single minutia of the gospel and/or that they have to know everything about the gospel in order be able to teach. I can't help but think that the adversary might be behind some of this thinking. And if Satan can convince you that you don't have enough of a testimony or that you don't know enough, he might just be able to talk you out of serving a mission altogether. 

You will learn what to teach at the MTC and you will continue to practice and learn as a missionary in the field. You will have Preach My Gospel as a guide and you will have a trainer and other companions to help you. You don't need to know everything ahead of time. In fact, the most important thing is to have a personal testimony of the basic truths of the gospel. When you are on a mission and you are in someone's home or talking to someone on the street and they say that don't believe in God (or the Book of Mormon, or living Prophets, or whatever) you can testify with sweet boldness that you know in your heart that it is true. They can't argue testimony. They might respond that they don't agree or say that you are wrong, but there is no real argument anymore. It's not like debating which flavor of Doritos is better, there is no opinion about it. You are sharing your personal witness, straight from your heart. And that is pure truth. 

When it comes to testimony, you don't need to know or understand everything. We learn line-upon-line, just like the Savior did. It's ok not to know everything right away. But you will want to have a testimony of those things that Dieter F. Uchtdorf listed (that I mentioned at the beginning of this post): 

• God lives. He is our loving Father in Heaven, and we are His children.
• Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and the Savior of the world.
• Joseph Smith is the prophet of God through whom the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the latter days.
• The Book of Mormon is the word of God.
• (The living Prophet), his counselors, and the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are the prophets, seers, and revelators in our day"

Depending on where you serve your mission, you may or may not be dealing with people who already have a belief in God and/or Jesus Christ (although they have been taught varying doctrines about them). The Restoration of the Church and the coming forth of the Book of Mormon are usually some of the first concepts taught, because they are not familiar ideas to most people. It is important to have a testimony of all the things listed above, but you will likely spend the majority of your time testifying about the Book of Mormon, because it is a tool that people can use to find out if the things you are teaching are true (more on this later).

Having a testimony of the basic truths of the gospel is also an important part of missionary preparation because you will also be preparing to receive your temple endowment (which is a required part of your preparation for your mission). To receive your temple endowment, you must have a temple recommend (a regular adult recommend, which is different than the limited-use recommend that is used by youth and newer adult members to enter the temple baptistry to do baptisms for the dead). The temple recommend interview includes questions about whether you have a testimony of certain basic aspects of the gospel, including a testimony of Jesus Christ, the restored gospel, etc. So not only are these important areas to have a testimony of as a missionary in general, but having a testimony of these things are essential to being able to receive the next ordinances that you will need (in the temple) in preparation for your full-time mission. 

If you feel like you might be lacking in testimony in one or more of the areas listed above, it's totally normal and you shouldn't feel defeated... Every single person on the Earth, including the Prophet and Apostles, has had to obtain their own testimony in these areas. Even if they grew up in the Church and had Pioneer ancestors. Everyone has to get a testimony for themselves. Luckily, the process for gaining a testimony in these basic gospel truths is very simple. It isn't always immediate, but it is simple. 

In the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet Moroni (the same Moroni who later appeared to Joseph Smith and showed him where the plates were hidden) describes how a person can gain a testimony of the Book of Mormon (he uses the words "ye may know the truth", but same thing). 

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things" (Moroni 10:3-5)

So basically, read the Book of Mormon (you don't even need to read the whole thing! Just read part of it! Pick a favorite story, or read the first chapter - anything!) and then pray to ask Heavenly Father if what you have read is true (as in, is it truly the word of God?). Page 1 of the Book of Mormon is as true as page 322. If part of it is true, it all is. If you are sincere and really intend to follow through with the knowledge you get in that answer and have faith, he will tell you through the Holy Ghost. How will you know if you get that answer? That I can't tell you, specifically, because the answer will come in different ways to different people. Some people feel a warm feeling in their heart/chest. Some people begin to have a feeling of strong conviction about the subject. Some people feel peace. Some people feel happiness. Sometimes you get no noticeable change or feeling right away. And thats ok and totally normal, too. Sometimes more effort may be required before you get that answer (read more, pray more, maybe fasting?), but the answer will come. And I can promise you that, because we have been promised that "(God) will manifest the truth of it unto you" (Moroni 10:4).

In April 2018 General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson said, 

"Brothers and sisters, how can we become the men and women—the Christlike servants—the Lord needs us to be? How can we find answers to questions that perplex us? If Joseph Smith’s transcendent experience in the Sacred Grove teaches us anything, it is that the heavens are open and that God speaks to His children. The Prophet Joseph Smith set a pattern for us to follow in resolving our questions. Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom we may ask of God, the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. He sought personal revelation, and his seeking opened this last dispensation.

In like manner, what will your seeking open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will 'grow into the principle of revelation'…

You don’t have to wonder about what is true.You do not have to wonder whom you can safely trust. Through personal revelation, you can receive your own witness that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, that Joseph Smith is a prophet, and that this is the Lord’s Church. Regardless of what others may say or do, no one can ever take away a witness borne to your heart and mind about what is true”                          (Russell M. Nelson, "Revelation for the Church, Revelation for our Lives," April, 2018)

And this process is exactly what you will be teaching to people as a missionary - you will be teaching them how to get their own answer in the exact same way. Study & pray. Simple. It's either true, or it isn't. And I know you will receive that answer, just as Moroni promised anciently and President Nelson teachers today, because I received that answer myself.

Old-lady BLOOMERS - YOU WILL WANT THEM! (we are 100% serious) - a guide for future LDS Sister Missionaries

I hate slips. I don't like the full-length kind (that is kind of like a slippery dress that you wear under your regular dresses) so I wear the half-slip kind (which is kind of like a slippery skirt that you wear under your regular skirts). They are always riding up or falling off. And I don't feel like they really help that much.

Here are some examples of the traditional slip types

I mean, yes - they're supposed to provide some extra coverage if you have a sheer-ish dress or skirt and I guess they do that. But I always wish that they would give me some better coverage in other ways (like, could they at least stay down when the wind blows instead of just flipping up right along with my skirt? Or how about giving me a little more coverage when I have to get down & up a hundred times on the nursery floor on Sundays?)

I heard from a RM friend that some sister missionaries in her mission had started wear bloomer style slips. Maybe some sisters have been wearing them for a while, but this was the first I had heard of it. Genius! They are a half-slip that has been made into shorts, so they actually provide some REAL coverage if your skirt flips up in the wind. Which is a constant problem for any woman who ever wears a skirt. As a missionary, you will wear a skirt/dress every single day (even part or all of the day on p-days!) so even if you think it's not a big issue right now, this is going to become a greater concern in your life when you are a missionary.

Here are a few examples of bloomer-style slips (sometimes called bloomers, split slips, petti-pants, or culotte slips):

(See the end of this post for a list of places that these can be purchased)

I mean, yikes - they look like they are something that would be worn in a historical re-enactment at Nauvoo or would be part of your costume for Pioneer Trek...right? But before you make up your mind based on looks, lets talk about the positives.

I bought 2 of these bloomer slips for my future missionary daughter (50% because I thought they would be great for her mission, 50% because I secretly wanted to try them). She was not into them. At all. So I wore one of the slips myself to church. It was so comfortable. And I didn't feel like I was flashing everyone everytime I got in/out of the car or bent over to pick something up. Even if someone could see the slip, at least it wasn't my underwear!

I told my daughter about how great it was to wear to church and she was beyond uninterested... I explained that I wish I could time travel back to my mission and give myself a couple of these bad-boys because of all the thousands of times I had to sit on the floor and try to keep my skirt down while I sat down/stood up and the millions of times I would walk down the road trying to keep my dress from flying up to my waist. Not that I would have been able to totally ignore those issues, but at least I would know that I had some lee-way and that I would be covered if the wind really got out of control. My daughter was still not very impressed.

So I happily continued wearing the bloomers to church stuff, and even though I would bring it up from time to time "Are you sure you don't want to try wearing these bloomers?" my daughter kept saying "pass."

The turning point came when my daughter spent the day working with some local sister missionaries. I strongly suggested that she wear a pair of the bloomers that day - at least to try them out and see if they would be helpful to her during her mission (since she would be going to real appointments with the full-time missionaries for the day). You can read all about my daughter's adventures with the Chuukese missionaries that day in her post: "A future Missionary Shares 3 Ways She is Preparing To Serve A Full-time Mission - By Doing Missionary Work NOW!" 

When she came home that night, she said the words that every mother loves to hear: "Mom, you were right!" (Yes!) "I had to sit on the floor so many times, getting up and down over and over...we went up and down a lot of flights of stairs outside in the wind...if I didn't have these bloomers on, I don't know how I would have done it. I NEED these for my mission! The missionaries said that they wear them, too!"

A-HA! So, ya, I think these are pretty great. And I've convinced my daughter, too. Or, actually - doing actual missionary work convinced her!

If you're worried about looking like a little old lady from the Depression Era, then don't worry - nobody is going to see your slip. Your midi-length skirts and dresses will cover the slip. Unless they don't (because a wind storm has attacked you in the middle of a crosswalk) and then you will be happy that you're wearing dorky old-lady bloomers...

Seriously, my daughter just walked by and saw the title of this blog post is "Old-lady Bloomers - You WANT THEM!", and said, "Heck YES I DO!" (remember, before she actually tried them I couldn't even get her to be a tiny bit interested in taking them on her mission!)

A FEW NOTES: 

I bought our 2 pairs of bloomers (that I keep borrowing) on Amazon. I bought 1 black and 1 white of the same brand/size (see bottom of this post for information on where to purchase).

I do not get any type of compensation from Amazon or from the seller or manufacturer of these slips, I'm just giving my honest opinion and review of what we personally bought. Amazon has a great variety of these types of slips, which is nice because they don't sell them in most stores (not a huge demand, I guess!). There are probably other websites and stores where you can buy these bloomers/split slips, especially if you live in an area with stores that especially cater to missionaries. We don't have anything like that in our area, so Amazon it is!

I bought the kind of bloomers that are called "snip-it" which means that you can adjust the length of the legs by cutting off a bottom strip (or multiple strips) of the lace on both legs. My daughter is 5'5 and I am 5'4. We had to cut all of the extra lace strips off of the bottoms of the bloomers we bought because they were hanging out under our midi-length skirts at the length they started with. This is a good thing. I'd rather have a slip that is too long and have to cut off the extra length instead of worrying about them being too short. And you don't have to hem them or anything after you cut off the lace. However, make sure that you don't cut off too much at once, because once the extra strips are cut off, they don't go back on (unless you re-sew them on, I guess).

This is the type of bloomer/split-slip that we bought (see the adjustable length cut-aways)

We were going for knee-length, which is the length that these particular bloomers fall on us with the bottom layers cut off. If you are taller than us (or just want your bloomers to be slightly longer), you can adjust the length accordingly.

I've seen some bloomers like this that fall on the mid-thigh, but personally I want (and I think would be most practical for a missionary) to have knee-length. You'll also want to avoid going TOO long...there are some bloomers that you can buy which are almost ankle-length. I'd just stick to the knee-length bloomers, no matter what the lengths of the outer skirt/dress. You don't want to have long bloomers that can only be worn with one or two outfits. Thats not multi-tasking enough! Save the space in your luggage! You will be able to wear the knee-length bloomers with all of your missionary-appropriate skirts and dresses. If you have questions about what skirt lengths are appropriate for sister missionaries, please see my posts on the subject (look at the right side of this page for a search box and search for "modest" or click on the label "modesty" or "sisters" to see all of the posts on the topic of sister missionary clothing guidelines. 

Here are the links to the examples of bloomers that I've shown in this post: 

Slip A- Velrose Snip-it 26" Culotte Slip (currently $17-$24.38 on Amazon, depending color & size) (available in 3 different colors and sizes S M L XL 2X 3X 4X) here

Slip B & C- Avidlove Women Lingerie Pettipants Snip-It Culottes (currently $5.99-$14.99 on Amazon, depending color & size) (available in 3 different colors and sizes S M L XL 2X) here 

Slip D- Underworks Woven Cotton Batiste Culotte Slips Pettipants (currently $19.99 on Amazon) (available in white only in sizes S M L XL 2X 3X 4X 5X 6X) here 

I bought the style shown in B & C (I bought white & black, though cream & black are shown in the collage) and they are good quality, so I would recommend them. I haven't purchased the other slips listed, but they look like they would be the right length and have good reviews, so might be worth a try!

Preparing for your Missionary's next PHONE CALL HOME - a guide for parents & friends of LDS missionaries

Today's post is not exactly about mission prep - it's for moms (and other relatives and friends) who are looking forward to talking to their LDS missionary on the upcoming Mothers Day or Christmas Day (depending on what month it is when you are reading this!). You can read this post here, OR on my new companion blog "Missionary Momming with the Overzealous Missionary Mom," which has posts especially for relatives and friends of LDS missionaries CLICK HERE to go to that blog or continue reading the same post it here, whichever you prefer!

WHO'S READY FOR MOTHERS DAY (OR CHRISTMAS DAY?)??????
Depending on what month of the year you're reading this, you're *relatively* close to one or the other! And that means it's almost time for your bi-annual phone call (or Skype) with your LDS missionary!

Since I’m new to being a missionary mom, I have not experienced my first phone call (or Skype) as the mom back at home yet. During my own mission, I was on the missionary side of phone calls home, of course, but I can’t help but think that it will be a very different experience as the parent.

I've recently read a wonderful blog called “The Mission of Missionary Moms” by Nancy Murphy who is the mother of many returned missionaries and a former Mission President’s wife. Which makes her WAY more of an expert at Missionary-Momming that I am!

One of the issues that Nancy addresses is the lasting effects that the bi-annual phone call (or Skype) can have (on the missionary himself/herself). In a blog post titled “Those All Important Phone Calls Home,” Nancy describes how some missionaries would become very depressed and unable to work for sometimes a week or more because of their phone call home. I have to admit, this issue had never occurred to me - I don’t remember any of my companions becoming depressed, homesick, or overly worried about issues back home after their Mothers Day or Christmas Day phone calls. I don’t know what was said during those particular missionarys’ phone calls home, but I’m fairly sure that the relatives on the other end of those calls didn’t mean to make life harder for their missionary. Perhaps the things their family said focused only on the negative or on their own misery at missing their son/daughter?

What might those parents have done differently? What can we do to make sure that our phone call/Skype is uplifting and encouraging for our missionary?

Nancy says, “We, as mothers, have the ability to make THE phone call a great experience for our missionaries and make sure it has a positive impact on their missions.”

Here are some tips - some of which I’ve taken from Nancy’s blog post because I plan to use them myself during my first missionary phone call/Skype as the mom back home:

#1- Make the focus of the phone call about THEM

Nancy says, “Make the phone call about them. Be interested in what they are doing. The best way to show them you are interested is to ask questions: How many people are you teaching right now? Have you been to a baptism lately? What is the coolest thing you've seen in your area? When is your next Zone Conference? Tell me about the members you've met. Make the conversation revolve around him and his mission--it will make him feel like you are a part of what he is doing, that you care about people he is teaching and what he does on his P-day. Be interested in the little things of life he is experiencing”

You don’t have to refuse to talk about the family and whats going on at home (and of course answer those questions your missionary has if they come up), but don’t feel like you have to dominate the conversation with your own stuff. Try to make the majority of the call about them. Of course if you have special news to share, go for it! But you can always tell them about regular ol' home stuff in your next email…you don’t get many chances to ask your missionary questions about their experiences and hear their answers right away in person, so use your chance when you get it!


#2- Don’t cry (a lot)

“Do not cry on the phone. OK well, just a little is OK. But remember, this is not about you or how sad you are. It might be good for him to know you miss him so much it makes you cry a little. But if you sob and sob about him being gone, he is not going to feel good. He is going to feel guilty for being gone because it is making his mother cry. If you can't control your tears (yes, I've been in this boat a few times) just make sure you leave him with the thought that, even though you are really. really sad sometimes because you miss him so much, you are even MORE proud of him for sacrificing everything to serve the Lord. Build him up and tell him how happy it makes you to see him grow spiritually. Tell him you just have to remind yourself the time will go quickly (good for him to hear that, too) and that you can do anything for the Lord--just like he can. Do not just sit and blubber on the phone, telling him you can't believe you ever let him go, that you want him to be home because he is missing out on so much (Gahhh...do you want him to come home?) Let him know you are sad sometimes but that these tears are HAPPY tears because it is so great to hear his voice and hear how well he is doing! The last thing you want to do is make him feel bad. So whatever you say to him on the phone, ask yourself how you are making him feel. Then you will know if you need to make a quick adjustment and say something that will uplift the conversation. The last thing you want him to do is go in his room after he talks to you, lay down on his bed, and cry”

Oh wow. This makes me picture the many thousands of missionary moms (dads/grandparents/aunts/siblings) who may have inadvertently made their missionary feel sad because they were crying. It’s not bad to cry (I’m sure MANY people do), but like Nancy says, try to turn it into a positive and not end on a note that might lead them to wonder if they ought to come home to end your misery! :)

#3- Get the siblings on the phone if you can

You will probably be limited in how long you will be able to talk. Your missionary may have a pre-set limit on talk time from their mission president (could be 20 minutes, could be 1 hour). Even if they don’t have a specific time limit given to them, please consider that their companion (or other missionaries in their apartment) may also be waiting to use the phone. Or, if they are at member’s home using their computer for Skype, they may need to limit their time there. You will also want to consider any cost that might be involved if it is a long-distance phone call and that could impact the length of your call.

You might be picturing a leisurely all-day phone call with time for every relative, friend, and neighbor to talk at length…Unfortunately, you probably won’t have as much time as you want to talk to your missionary (especially if you have a large family and everyone wants a turn to talk). Again, many missions have a rule about time limits for these phone calls (but even if there is no official limit, there may be other types of limitations such as needing to take turns with other sets of missionaries). How can you possibly allow everyone to talk to your missionary and still have enough time? Try using speakerphone so that everyone can hear your missionary for at least part of the call. It might seem kind of impersonal, but in reality they will probably be answering the same questions and telling the same stories over and over if they talk to everyone separately, so this might make things more concise while giving everyone a chance to listen.

Even so, parents and perhaps other close relatives will want a minute to themselves, if possible, and that is arguably the most important thing. Don’t forget about the siblings, especially the younger children!

Nancy suggests, “Try to allow enough time so your other children can talk privately for a minute or two, especially those who are nearing mission age. I promise, two minutes on the phone with a missionary sibling will do more to influence them for good that just about anything you or I can say. If you think of it, tell your missionary child in your email the week before the call that you are going to try to arrange for them to have a minute or two alone on the phone to encourage and help your other children (you just may want to give him a heads up so he knows your purpose in those two minutes is for him to encourage them--not discourage them!)”

#4- Know the plan

Sometime during the week(s) leading up to the next phone call (the standard days are Mothers Day in May and Christmas Day), you will want to arrange with your missionary (in your regular emails) exactly how/when you are both going to communicate on the big day. For example, are they calling you (make sure they have the phone number) or will you be calling a member’s home where they will be that day (and if so, what is the phone number? Do you need to find out how to make an international call?) What time will they/you be calling (or Skyping)? How long will you have to talk?, etc.

It’s best to have a planned range of time that the call will start, instead of a specific start time. Your missionary may intend to call you precisely at 8:00am, but his companion may have just found out at the end of his “turn” that his family dog died or maybe his grandma showed up to talk to him at 7:59am (and he just can’t be rude to her, of course), making his call longer than planned…(Meanwhile, your whole family is panicking because it’s 8:30am and your missionary hasn’t called!). Or there could be other issues, like travel delays in getting to a computer location or there could be phone or internet outages… So maybe planning your call for sometime between 8:00am and 10:00am (thats just an example, really use whatever time frame works for your missionary) and that would be better than a strict specific time. And don’t forget to take any time-zone differences into consideration…(you might get your call at 4am!). Just make sure that everyone knows the plan.

#5- Do some technical set-up (if needed)

Nancy suggests that if your missionary is able to Skype (or some sort of similar video chat), be sure to set up your device/computer WELL ahead of time with the correct program and get everything ready so that you don’t cut into your time dealing with software downloads and other technical issues. “Make sure you are set up for Skype ahead of time so you don't waste valuable talking time trying to get it figured out. Another option is Google Hangout which is a lot of fun too! Both of these options have the capability of allowing you to talk to more than one person at a time--even those in another city or state or country. Make sure to get everything set up and test it out before the big day” Definitely practice Skype (or whatever you are using) at least once before the day you will be talking to your missionary.

#6- Have a list of talking points

You don’t want a lull in the conversation when you run out of things to talk about and questions to ask…the time is too precious! Make a list of topics that you can bring up (especially questions) during your call that you can refer to if needed. Here are some suggestions: What is your current area like? What do you like to do on p-day? What kinds of things do you normally eat? What is the strangest thing you have eaten so far? What is the funniest thing that has happened lately? What is your mission president like? Who are some of your favorite people you've met so far?

Feel free to print this list out and post it on the fridge or somewhere else that everyone can see it during the call!

Finally, I want to share another quote from Nancy’s blog that has been really helpful for me-

“Whatever you do, make sure these few moments spent on the phone create a positive memory for your missionary child. Say things that will build him and empower him, things that will make him go to bed that night more determined than ever that the rest of his mission will be even better than what came before. You have the power to do that--the power to help him forget about home and focus his attention on serving the Lord, the power to make him believe he really can do this--that there's nothing at home that is nearly as important as him serving the Lord with all his heart” (from “Those All Important Phone Calls Home” from “The Mission of Missionary Moms” blog by Nancy Murphy)Please check out Nancy’s blog - she has a lot of great posts that are wonderful for LDS missionary parents! Click here to go to the blog with her full post on this topic

8 EASY SNACKS for LDS Missionaries - low cost, healthy-ish, and EASY

It can be hard for anyone to eat healthy and stay within a grocery budget. For full-time missionaries, this can be especially challenging. As a missionary, I was often hungry. And when you're hungry, you tend to gravitate toward junk food and it can be difficult to think of healthier options. Don't worry - we've got your back!

We've compiled a list of 8 easy snacks that are low-cost, require little or no work, and are healthier than eating a tub of ice cream! If you're getting ready to leave for your own LDS mission, you might want to have a list of healthy snacks like this with you to reference when you go shopping in your first area. Depending on where you serve, you may not have access to all of these items and ingredients, but this list is a good place to start!

If you are a relative or friend of an LDS missionary who is currently serving, feel free to pass along this list to your missionary! (see printable version of this list at the end of the post)

First up, CHIPS & SALSA! Buy pre-made salsa (either the canned kind in the mexican food aisle or the fresher kind usually in the produce section of groceries stores) and a bag of tortilla chips.
Cost (in my local store): about $5 ($3 for salsa, $2 for chips)
Effort level: 0 out of 10

JELLO! It might seem "basic," but its actually a nice fruity treat (many people consider it a dessert). It's sweet, but non-fat. You can buy the boxes of jello mix and make it yourself, but it does take some time (you have to wait hours for it to "set") and in this case making your own doesn't really save you that much money (plus then you have more dishes to wash). If you buy the pre-made jello cups, there is no wait and no mess! You can find these in the grocery store near the snack foods OR sometimes they are near the canned fruit OR they also have certain varieties in the refrigerated section near the yogurt. In my local Wal-Mart the pre-made jello is on a different aisle than the box jello. (Just keep looking! Eventually, you will find it!)
Cost (in my local store): about $1 (for a 4-pack). Cost per serving: 25 cents.
Effort level: 0 out of 10

FROZEN GRAPES: These are a great treat in warm weather. To make these, you buy regular fresh grapes, then wash them and pull them off of the stem. Dry them off with a paper towel and put them on a cookie sheet (or something similar) in the freezer. Once they are frozen, put them in a zip-lock type baggie and keep in the freezer. You could put them straight in the baggie without freezing them on a cookie sheet first, but they might stick together. In our part of the United States, we can get grapes year-round, but they do not taste great year-round. Usually the smaller the grape, the more sour. When they are very plump they usually taste very sweet, in my experience. You can ask someone working in the produce department if you can try one, if you're not sure (you're not supposed to sample without asking). Another tip: My daughter recently bought grapes and saw that the price on the sign was $3/lb, but didn't realize that they were bagged in 3 to 4 pound sizes. She assumed that they were all 1 pound bags, so she didn't think of weighing her grapes. She thought she was buying 1 pound of grapes for $3, but she was actually buying 3 pounds of grapes for $9. It is a little confusing sometimes, because many types of produce that are pre-bagged (like bags of potatoes or bags of apples) are usually a flat price instead of by the pound. If you are on a tight budget (as missionaries are), make sure you know what you are buying before you get to the check out.
Cost (in my local store): varies by season, from $2 per pound to $5 per pound
Effort level: 2 out of 10

HUMMUS & VEGETABLES:
Even if you are not a big vegetable person now, you might start craving them on your mission. I found that I started craving vegetables that I didn't even like (like broccoli) and I think that it was because I needed the extra nutrients. Most of the time fresh vegetables can be purchased at a fairly low price year-round. Items like carrots and celery are usually very cheap. Peppers, broccoli, cauliflower,  and tomatoes are usually slightly higher in cost, but still pretty reasonable price compared to fast food and packaged snacks.

Using hummus as a dip is a good way to add some protein to your snack (and keep you feeling full longer). If you're not familiar with hummus, it's basically a dip made from garbanzo beans and a few other things. It's very mild and smooth - try it, you'll probably like it! We like the flavored varieties (like garlic flavor or roasted red pepper flavor) better than plain. You can buy pre-made hummus in most grocery stores (sometimes it is kept by the produce, sometimes it is kept by the deli, sometimes it is kept by the sour cream/dips - in any case, it should be in a refrigerated section, so probably along the outside perimeter of the store if its a big grocery store (usually they have their refrigerated stuff around the edges and the canned goods and non-perishables near the center of the store).
Cost (in my local store): Hummus - $3-$5 depending on brand, veggie prices vary
Effort level: 1 out of 10 (because you may have to cut up vegetables)

MICROWAVE POPCORN: If you've got a microwave, this is a tasty & easy snack for around $1. There are healthier varieties with less butter and/or less salt, but even if you get the butter-blasted kind sometimes, its still a pretty good snack because it has a lot of fiber and is very filling.
Cost (in my local store): $3 for a box of 4
Effort level: 0 out of 10

BANANAS WITH HONEY: This is so good. Chop up a banana and pour a little bit of honey on top, then sprinkle some cinnamon over the whole thing. I really love this because it's very little effort but tastes way better than it looks - its like eating a fancy dessert! Honey is not exactly cheap and you may have to buy ground cinnamon if you don't already have some in your apartment, but you could plan to have this once a week and get good use out of your cinnamon & honey! 

Cost (in my local store): $5 for a small bottle of honey, $1 for a bottle of ground cinnamon, 50 cents each for a banana. Overall, probably about 75 cents per serving total, since you use so little of the honey and cinnamon each time, but you do have to buy the honey & cinnamon up front.

Effort level: 1 out of 10

RICE CAKE WITH PEANUT BUTTER: Buy a package of rice cakes (usually by the chips or the nuts and snack foods) and a jar of peanut butter. Easy!

Cost (in my local store): $2 for rice cakes (package of 10) and $3 for a small jar of peanut butter. Probably about 50 cents per serving.

Effort level: 0 out of 10

FROZEN COOKIE DOUGH: No, you don't actually need to eat the frozen cookie dough - this idea is even better! This one requires a little more work than the others, but totally manageable. Buy a cookie mix (baking section of the grocery store) like a chocolate chip cookie mix or whatever. You may also need eggs, butter, OR vegetable oil (not all three), so check the instructions before you leave the store. Make the cookie dough, but instead of baking all of the cookies, roll some (or all) of them into balls and put them in the freezer on a cookie sheet (or something similar) until frozen. Then put them in a ziplock-type baggie and put them back in the freezer. Again, the cookie sheet thing is to keep them from freezing together into one giant mass). The idea here is that you can take a couple of the cookies out at lunch time or when you get home at night a make a couple of cookies at a time. Instead of making a whole batch at once and eating them all right away, this method allows you to space your cookies out. Cookie mixes are much easier than trying to make cookies from scratch (since you don't need to buy all of the individual ingredients) and they are a pretty cheap treat. They usually make 2-3 dozen cookies, depending on the size that you make them.

Cost (in my local store): $2 for a mix (not inclduing cost of egg(s), oil, or butter that may be needed). Even after you add in the cost of the egg, etc. I think you'd probably be looking at a cost of about 10 cents a cookie.

Effort level: 4 out of 10

Here is a free printable that you can use to take on your mission as a reference if you ever need snack ideas (you can either print it on your home printer, or have it printed as a 4x6" photo at a photo place). If you are a parent or friend of a current LDS missionary who needs some cheap and easy snack ideas, feel free to save and attach this as a photo in your next email! 

Oh! And by the way, check out my new blog (which is actually sort of a companion to this blog!) called, "Missionary Momming with the Overzealous Missionary Mom" which focuses on helping parents, relatives, and friends of currently serving LDS missionaries with tips and advice for supporting your missionary and helping them when they return home. Click here to see the new blog! 

A future missionary shares 3 ways she's preparing to serve a full-time mission - by doing missionary work now! A guide for future LDS missionaries

Hello! This is Kendall (the oldest daughter of the Overzealous Missionary Mom). I am a college student and I attend a young single adult branch in my area. I plan to submit my mission papers in a few months (just waiting to get close enough to my 19th b-day!). 

Today I'm going to share some of the things that I've been doing to prepare to serve a full-time mission. Of course, I attend my church meetings and institute, do my church calling (YSA FHE Director, yo!), pray, study, exercise, etc. You know, all of the regular things... But there are a few additional things that I have started to do lately that have really helped me to have a better understanding of missionary work in more of a hands-on way.

Elder Bednar says that we should become missionaries before we become full-time missionaries...which, according to Elder Bednar is actually the most important thing we can do in preparation to serve a full-time mission. "My earnest hope for each of you young men is that you will not simply go on a mission—but that you will become missionaries long before you submit your mission papers, long before you receive a call to serve, long before you are set apart by your stake president, and long before you enter the MTC" - this is from a talk titled, "Becoming a Missionary" by David A Bednar (link to the talk here) 

How do we do this? Here are 3 things that I recommend: 

#1- Inviting people to Sunday church meetings and/or church activities 

One of the easiest things to do is start inviting. Full-time missionaries invite people to be baptized, but they also invite people to learn more, meet with the missionaries for lessons, read the scriptures, pray, study, attend church, go to activities, etc. Every day. Inviting people to church or activities is simple way for you to start. You already go to church on Sunday every week and you probably go to 1 or more other church-related meetings/classes/activities (seminary, mutual, ward activities, etc for youth and institute, FHE group, & other YSA activities for young adults), so why not bring a friend or two along? I've tried to do this more and more as I get closer to my 19th b-day.

Do you have a friend or relative who lives nearby that is a church member but who hasn't been attending church or activities lately? Sometimes people miss a few times and find that it gets harder to get back into going to church the longer they miss. It may just take a friendly offer to give them the courage to return to church. Or they may feel more comfortable coming to an activity. You won't know unless you ask!

The same concept applies for non-member friends and relatives. Sometimes people get the idea that non-members aren't allowed at church or church activities - which is definitely NOT true! You may have some friends who would love to come to Mutual or YSA activities, but didn't know that they were welcome. I go to YSA activities whether I'm interested in the activity or not, but if I'm going to invite a non-member friend I like to find out ahead of time what the activity will be so I can make sure it will be something my friend would be comfortable with before I invite them. For example, I have a particular friend who hates sports, so if I know we're playing soccer on Monday and then having a BBQ on Friday, I would probably start by inviting her to the BBQ instead of starting with soccer!

Don't forget to think ahead and explain what will be happening if this is their first time at church or at an activity (i.e., "first we have a hymn and prayer, then the sacrament will be blessed and passed to the congregation" or "We will have a prayer and a short lesson, then we will be playing volleyball")

I've invited a lot of people to church and activities...and 100% of the time I have had a positive response. Nobody has ever been upset or offended because I invited them to something. People always have been nice to me, even if they don't want to go.  They don't always say YES, but a lot of times they DO say yes and end up coming! Most of the time people I've invited have come to church or an activity and had a good experience. 

These sort of invitations are especially successful if you are able to pick up your friend and go together. It's a lot less intimidating to go (or return) somewhere unfamiliar if you aren't walking in totally alone.

When we are missionaries, we will be inviting people to do things all day long, so this is a great way to get practicing.

#2- Working with the full-time missionaries (attending and participating in teaching appointments). 

If you have the ability to do so (ie, if there are full-time missionaries in your area that you are available to help), they are often looking for church members who can go to teaching appointments with them. Sometimes missionaries need another member to be there because of the rules about who must be present during a teaching appointment (ie, full time missionaries aren't supposed to be teaching a person or 2 people of the opposite sex without other church members there also to balance out the numbers...this keeps a meeting from being misunderstood as a romantic situation).

Something else that is just as important is to have church members there when the missionaries are teaching so that the investigator (or less-active member) that they are teaching is developing friendships with local church members who will remain in the area long after the full-time missionaries are transferred. This is really important, because if an investigator only has a friendship with the full-time missionaries, but isn't developing relationships with members of their new ward or branch, they are not very likely to stay active in the church once the missionaries they know are transferred. It is vital that people who are preparing for baptism (or returning to church) start meeting and becoming friends with ward members.

Another aspect that this can help with, is that sometimes investigators feel like missionaries aren't "real people" - which, of course they are "real people," but investigators only see full-time missionaries in their current role as an authorized representative of Jesus Christ. They don't see what they were like back at home or how they dressed before they were a missionary. Sometimes this is intimidating, because investigators might get the impression that missionaries are perfect and don't understand what it's like to be a "regular person" and to try to change their lifestyle to fit the gospel standards. Having a regular non-missionary person at a discussion can really help with this. As you share your personal experiences with the gospel as a non-full-time-missionary church member, you can give investigators the hope that regular people really can live the gospel in this world.

#3- Spending the day (or part of the day) with the full-time missionaries

I contacted some of the local sister missionaries- there are only a couple of sets of sisters in my Stake. The ones that I have worked with are the local Chukkese group missionaries (a "group" is a church unit that is smaller than a branch. Like, not enough people to be a branch. Sort of like a pre-branch). I explained to the missionaries that I'm planning to put in my mission papers later this year and asked them if I might be able to go out with them on appointments or help them with anything. I ended up having a day off of work & school that week, so they invited me spend part of the day working with them. They explained to me that in the Chukkese culture, they aren't really able to make appointments, so we mainly made drop-in visits to many families during the 5 hours I spent with them. Part of the time they spoke Chuuk, but a lot of the time they spoke English (depending on who we were visiting and what they preferred). I don't speak one word of Chuuk, so this was really a different experience for me. 

Here is a photo of me, dressed in missionary-appropriate clothing, 

heading out to working with the full-time sister missionaries for the day

In the past 2-3 years, I have gone to teaching appointments with full-time missionaries 5 or 6 times. I have also had several friends take the missionary lessons in my home and participated with that. I thought I understood what being a missionary is about. My mom (a returned missionary) always says that you can't know what its like to be a full-time missionary day after day, week after week, and month after month until you live it yourself. An hour here or there gives you a small sample, but not a big dose.  

I can tell you now from personal experience, those 1-hour appointments that I'd had with the missionaries in our ward over the years did not give me nearly as good of an idea of what being a missionary is like as the 5 hours I spent with the full-time sister missionaries that day. I feel like (even though it was only 5 hours) I got a much better sense of what is involved. The sometimes awkward situations, the unfulfilled commitments, and the frequent disappointment were easier to see when I was with them in a longer stretch. It might sound like my day with the missionaries was a  serious bummer, but it wasn't. These sisters were really great and upbeat. They love the Lord and they love missionary work. But missionary work isn't always sunshine and rainbows. The reality is that there are a lot of "no's" and a lot of heartbreaking situations. This experience had a profound effect on me. I respect the full-time missionaries so much...

Me (center) and the Chuukese Missionaries 

who recently took me along with them for part of the day

I'm not trying to discourage anyone from just going to teaching appointments with the missionaries,  that is actually a great way to become familiar with how missionaries teach. But if you get the chance, I really recommend doing more than that - going out with full-time missionaries in your ward/Stake for a whole day (or at least part of a day). Check with your local missionaries to see what they are able to do and what would be appropriate/convenient for them. I also recommend being very polite and courteous to them, since they are doing you a favor by letting you tag along. 

You don't have to be an expert in anything to start doing missionary work as a member-missionary. You are there as a helper and a friendshipper, so don't worry that you will be expected to get into teaching deep doctrine or anything like that. If you are in a teaching appointment with the missionaries, you may be asked to share your feelings about a gospel principle or to read a scripture as part of a lesson. Nothing scary at all. The full-time missionaries are the teachers, so let them take the lead.

PS- It's a good idea to become familiar with Preach My Gospel, start having regular scripture study (especially if it is studying the scriptures in PMG), and start memorizing the things that missionaries memorize can be helpful (and will be helpful in preparing to serve your own mission), but don't feel like you need to know everything to start getting involved in missionary work.

Click HERE to link to our blog post about 5 things to memorize before you get to the MTC that will be helpful in your mission preparations! 

See you in the mission field!