5 TIPS to make a mission EASIER for the family back home

Most of the effort of missionary preparation is focused on the future missionary- mission prep and temple prep classes, interviews, medical and dental appointments, buying clothes, etc. But the missionaries aren't the only people affected by their decision to serve!

Most missionaries have a family back home, and often those families include siblings. Siblings (especially younger siblings or those with special needs) may have a lot of adjusting to do when their brother or sister leaves and doesn't come back for a long time. In some families, there might even be a new sibling born while the missionary is in the field. A nursery-aged little brother or sister might meet their returned-missionary sibling for the first time when they get come off the plane - it happens! (What an adjustment that would be for a little guy!)

One of our children experienced some fairly dramatic issues with separation anxiety after our oldest daughter started attending college. Even though Kendall still lived at home, she wasn't around very much anymore. Then she had a randomly-weird medical emergency during her freshman year...suddenly, this was all too much for one of her very sensitive young siblings. For the next few years, we dealt with a lot of hysterical crying and panic whenever Kendall would leave the house for any reason and even had to seek professional counseling to help her cope.

Knowing that Kendall is planning to serve a mission, I've been trying to carefully plan ways to help make this big transition easier for everyone - ESPECIALLY her younger siblings who may be anxious about the upcoming change...

Whether you've already had a lot of missionaries recently serving missions from your immediate (or extended) family, or if you (or your child) will be the first ever missionary in your family, your family will be affected when the family member they are used to having around isn't around anymore. But don't worry- there are lots of ways that you can make the transition easier for the whole family back home. And the good news is that we've got lots of great tips, and they're all FUN!

Missionary Countdowns, family photos, comfort items, and jewelry - whats NOT TO LIKE?

#1- MISSIONARY COUNTDOWN
Missionary countdowns are a classic way to make the long months & years seem easier! Anxious siblings (or anxious parents! LOL) can watch the days melt away as they watch the return of their missionary getting closer and closer every day... Countdowns are a great way to help make waiting for a missionary a little easier!

There are MANY different types of countdown calendars. Here is a very cool printable missionary countdown from our friends at FelixandFelicityShop on Etsy that will fit with any decor and will look great on a bulletin board or framed in a missionary command center (see tip #2). They are only $4.99 and can be printed in several sizes.

They have a 2-year version for Elders here:

And their new 18 month (1.5 year) version for Sisters here

#2- MISSIONARY COMMAND CENTER
Find some place in your home to dedicate to your missionary - Pre-mission photos, current photos, missionary items, recent letters, clock set to the time zone of their mission, mission maps, flags, missionary countdown, etc. This will help keep the memory of the missionary alive for younger siblings, but will also help everyone in the family keep the missionary in their thoughts. It's a really fun way to keep the missionary "in view", even though they are in a different state or country.

Here are a few examples:

Here is a slightly different type of display that was created for a family with a deployed military parent, but the same concept applies! I like the idea of having a drop-box for letters...

#3- PHOTOS
When you are taking missionary photos, include siblings in some of the photos and get some decent photos of the whole family a group. You don't have to pay for professional photography, just try to get some good shots of the family together. This will help younger siblings visualize the family as a group, even while their brother or sister is gone.

Here are some fun ideas for how to include family members in pre-mission photos:

I saw this idea on Etsy here, where they sell signs like this

Here is another idea that features the whole family, from Heartfelt Moments Photography

Here are several great family photo examples from Amber Vest Photography: 

#4- COMFORT ITEMS FOR CHILDREN
When one of our younger daughters started exhibiting symptoms of separation anxiety when Kendall started college, we tried several things. One of them was having a comfort item (I made a peg doll to look like Kendall). Missionary peg dolls made to look like your missionary could be find of fun to display while your missionary is serving, even if you don't have young children at home!

You can find the blank dolls at most major craft chains or online (I've purchased blanks on Etsy before). If you're new to painting peg dolls, here is a tutorial (this one is how to paint peg dolls to look like Disney Princesses, but you'll get the idea):

Painted peg doll tutorial from lilblueboo.com here 

If you are crafty, you can make these things for yourself, but I'm including links for some of the items I've seen on Etsy:

I saw these missionary peg dolls ($15 each) on Etsy here 

If you're REALLY crafty, you could try your hand at making a custom doll to look like your missionary. Or here is a link to purchase custom dolls:

I saw these custom missionary dolls ($55 each) here

Another comfort item that helped our daughter was to make a "while you're gone" book -

Link to the notimeforflashcards website for complete instructions here 

#5 - JEWELRY
Jewelry is a great idea because almost anyone back home can wear it - parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, etc. Jewelry can actually help you feel close to a missionary who is far away, but it also can be a great conversation starter because people will ask you about your unusual jewelry (so you can be a missionary too, as you explain where your daughter/son/grandchild/sibling is and what they are doing!)

There are many types of missionary or family themed jewelry that you can purchase or make, here are just a few examples that I found for sale on Etsy:

I saw this personalized missionary jewelry designed for family/loved ones back home ($46) on Etsy here

I saw this morse code "Sister" bracelet set (various sizes available, $30.41 for set of 2) on Etsy here.
Since there are 2 bracelets, your missionary could take one and someone back home could wear the other one, so have a sort of connection (you could also order more bracelets for more family members)

I saw this personalized missionary theme bracelet ($32) on Etsy here

Finally, I think that being upfront and honest about expectations is important ("While Kendall is a missionary, we won't be talking to her every day like we do now. But, she will email us and send us photos once a week and we can email her, too"). Not knowing what to expect can be the most stressful thing of all.

Whether you are a future missionary or a friend/relative of a future missionary, best of luck to you in your missionary preparations!